Hi, I'm new here, feeling some anxiety..etc.

[Littlewing]

Hi,
Like i said I'm new to this forum. I'm almost 42 and am pretty sure I'm dealing with early premenopause. in case you're wondering, I haven't been to a doctor to check my levels, etc. Too broke. My good friend told me of Susun's Book on Menopuase and I feel like it's my saving grace.
Right now I'm right before my period and feeling anxious (for no reason!). I hate it. I feel like curling up in a ball till all this goes away. I read in Susun's book to embrace my fear(anxiety). Please ..how is that? How do I do that? How do women make it through this journey? It's so overwhelming!
I know this will be long haul. i am strong inside. Solid. The feelings won't break me. That's what I keep telling myself.
I am a mom of 2 kids. A 10yr old boy and a 6yr old girl. I have a wonderful husband who is probally wondering what is life going to be like now, poor guy. But I will share with him the tools I need to get thru this. Lots of hugs and love.
I'm sorry to ramble on.
I just don't have anyone else to go to for feedback. I'm not into western medicine. That way of thinking. I want to trust my body in knowing that it knows what to do, just like childbirth. Love my midwife. now here's the next journey. I want to embrace Grandmother Growth.
Thanks to all who listened,
Love,
Littlewing

[Narayani]

(((Littlewing))) Welcome to the forum.
At first it all seems so overwhelming, but you will learn to honour this journey in time. I also started perimenopause with anxiety. It was cripling panic attacks that drew me to Susan's book and ultimately to this site. I truly hope you don't have anxiety like that but even if you do, I am here to tell you that it will end.

Embracing your fear or anxiety means to fully accept it in a loving way. Most people will recoil from the thought of accepting a scary emotion like anxiety but trying to fight it or to push it away will only make it stronger. Try to remember that our emotions are only thoughts and that they do not control us. A first good step in moments of anxiety is to focus on the breath. Take a moment to breathe in deeply and to slowly breathe out. Feel the motion of your belly swelling with each breath in and relaxing with each breath out. You can mentally breathe in calm, support and love and breathe out fear, worry and anxiety... really feel the anxiety flowing out of your self with each exhale.

Other things that helped me with anxiety: motherwort tincture, yoga, walking barefoot on the earth, taking time alone in nature every day, nettle infusions, lavendar sleep pillows, lots of hugs and support from loving friends.

When you begin to feel a little calmer, you can look at what anxiety is trying to tell you. Is she saying that change is on the way? Well remember that one door must close before another opens. Change is necessary in life for us to grow.

You ARE strong. You carried two children and birthed them into this world. Menopuase is a journey where you will birth a new YOU. It can be a wild ride sometimes, but nothing that you can't handle. And you have a whole circle of loving women making that journey with you here on this forum.

I know because I am closing my croning year now. I surrvived the journey and grew in so many wonderful ways. You will too.
My life mate??? How did he cope? W-e-l-l- he IS a very patient man

[Blue Glass84]

Narayani,
How long did you suffer the panic attacks before they went away or are they there just not as bad. I have been suffering with PTSD since my Hyst in march 2008. The panic attacks my muscles and my joints so badly that I can not walk or move my hands or arms. I feel like it moves all over my body and it hits me in diffrent areas like my breathing and then to my legs. I have tried to relax but I feel like I have to fight them to stay alive.
I have been to a counsler and told her I have this and that I can not drive anymore now. she told me it was not due to hormonal imbalance. I think this lady needs a real job for she has no idea what she is talking about.
Anyways just wanted to know how long I have to wait to get till I can drive and live again.
Thank you
Glass

[maclinda]

Hi Littlewing,

Embracing your fear doesn't mean the same thing as enjoying it (like anyone would enjoy it!). I think it means more of respecting your body and feeling the changes without fighting/struggling to end the feelings. I've found anything I struggle against intensifies, whereas if I can just breathe softly and consciously relax my tense muscles, the feeling also softens.

I've caught myself with my hands tightened into fists when I have unpleasant thoughts or feelings. When I open my fingers and let my hands relax I feel better. You may tense up in a different area of your body.

Yoga or just gentle stretching might be good too, to both help "un-knot" your muscles and also to help that energy (those feelings) flow through and out of you rather than hanging on tightly. Exercise of any sort can help with anxiety. I say burn off that adrenaline rather than holding on to it.

You also might sit and think quietly as to why you feel anxious. Are you under a lot of stress otherwise, too?

Linda

[Lady Alinor]

I totally agree with what the ladies have said...TOTALLY.

Anxiety and panic is scary, it was totally disrupting my life, I was miserable. Things aren't so bad now that I've come to accept what is going on. I've also made many changes in my life and diet. I learned to knit...very relaxing to just sit down and mindlessly knit a pair of socks, or scarves or whatever catches my eye next. I've also eliminated meat from my diet...WOW...I really noticed a change doing that, I'm calmer with fewer anxiety attacks, I've lost weight and I feel GREAT. My husband doesn't understand all the scary stories he's heard about women and their 'change', he says he hardly even notices when I'm cycling, most months he discovers my Moon-Time has arrived because I'm wearing unders .
Motherwort is a must have...it and Hawthorn live on the coffee table and when I leave the house they go into my backpack.

Keep reading Susun's book, even re-read it. Get her "Healing Wise" book also. I can't tell you how many times I've read it....GREAT book

[Littlewing]

So many thanks to all of you who responded to my post! It's so nice to know I'm not alone!!! I went out and got the Motherwort and was amazed at how calm I felt afterwards!! Then I read up on it in Susun's book and was amazed by all the things it can help with us!! So wonderful. I was currently using Rescue Remedy, but Motherwort really helped even more. I will check out the Hawthorne one too.
It's day two of my moon and I feel more like me. I'm hoping if it has come it only does once a month..When it came, I wasn't even stressed. It just came. I feel like I can handle anything , but that one is so tough! You're right about it being just thoughts and really I tell it it's not allowed in my world! Go away!
I already feel calmer when I pick up Susun's book.I will defiantly get her other one too. Thanks for suggesting it! Anything to help me process this journey I'm starting.
Thank you for being such wonderful women to take the time for me and others! I know I really appreciate it.I know I'll probally need you all again. I'm so glad to have found this forum. Blessings!
Love to all,
Littlewing.

[Lady Alinor]

Un-Wanted Thoughts:
I have an Uncle who's just a few years older than I am, he's always been a little different than the rest of his brother's...A Free Spirit!

Some of us 'Youngers'/nieces and nephews consider him our 'Wandering Medicine Man' (he's traveled the country building houses, working on Ranches, exploring mountain ranges and is now a cross country trucker). He's very knowledgable about different healing techniques (using herbs, crystals and stones, meditation, speaking with animals and spirits and so on)
Anyway the last time he passed through Oregon we discussed un-wanted thoughts and emotions. He said "Do This, confront those thoughts and emotions by very forcefully asking "WHO ARE YOU" " "then listen... if you get a response then act on what you are told, ask questions, listen, if there's no response then you've scared that useless thought/emotion away, you've taken away it's 'power' "
At first one may feel silly talking to the thing that can't be seen, but sometimes confrontations with the invisible strengthens us, empowers us, heals us.

I wish my Uncle could stay longer, a few hours just isn't enough when we 'KNOW' we could learn so much from our Wandering Medicine Man.

[indigocrystal]

Hi and welcome Glad you're feeling better alreadfy.

I was going to suggest Flower Essences. There are many many essences and Rescue Remedy is a mix of 5 which is intended to emergency situations and totally over-used as it's hyped up so much. I think many people never try other essences because they tried RR and it "didn't work" when it was used in a situation it was never intended to help. Look into Flower Essences and find the ones that are right for you - when you do, the effects can be almost instantaneous and amazing. They can help you on this journey.
Feeling anxious for no reason - Aspen
All known fears - Mimulus
Terror - Rock Rose

There are many others which may be better suited to you.

[Littlewing]

Thanks Indigocrystal,
I just pulled out my Flower Essences book and started pouring through it. I also saw the ones listed in Susun's book too. I'm a true believer of those flowers!!
Lady Alinor,
That's great about the Un-Wanted Thoughts. I will try that! Thanks your Uncle for me!

I've been taking the Motherwort for 3 days now and am so thankful for that right now. Along with the anxiety I was having a hard time completeing a yawn. Isn't that weird? Is anyone else having that happen? I read that the Motherwort helps with that too and it's true! Now the anxiety has subsided for now, but the "yawning" thing is still with me a little bit. I just don't leave home with out that tincture. I also read about the Oatstraw and next time I'm I town I will pick some of that up too.
My periods gone from 5 days to 3. not bad, but sometimes it's heavy or light or not really constant. Painful boobs and abdomen too. I got off the Pill 4 months ago too, so the cramps came back too.
I was reading past posts and it's hard not to get a bit worried about some of the other symptoms I could or could not go through!
My poor husband and kids too!
I figure the more "tools" i have to help me get trough this, the better. I always appriciate advice, especially form the woman who have/are dealing with it! Thanks to all!
Littlewing

[Narayani]

My panic stayed with me for some time. When I look back on that period now I realise how I attached I was to my panic. I imagine that this will sound crazy to you just now, but my days revolved around setting up little coping mechanisms to try and avoid panic. It wasn't until I began to focus on other things... to bring positive things into my life and not to dwell on my fears of change that my panic really subsided.

Don't get me wrong I do believe that my panic was both hormonally and mentally triggered. And if you have had a hysterctomy, then you definetly have been thrown a hormonal curve ball. Motherwort was a terrific ally for me too. I still carry a bottle in my day back, have one in my travel first aid kit and one on my bathroom shelf (and I haven't had a panic attack in years )

If you are feeling imobilised by panic, then yoga could really be good for you. Find a class that specialises in gentle yoga and a teacher that will guide you with breath work. The yogic techniques of using the breath to release tight muscles can be invaluable in times of panic.

Don't dispair. This WILL end. You WILL regain your life... and it will be even better for all you have learned through this.

[suebee]

You are the same age as me.. Welcome by the way , my welcome is overdue. Its a blessing to have you. I would suggest first that you think when you eat about feeding your body. Eat healthy foods as fule for your body to run on. Try to add some seaweed into your diet. Yes at first i hated it, now i crave it.
vinagers are wonderfull too. Motherwort tincture, i dont leave the house with out it. Take a few mins for yourself every day and say, this is my time, have a cup of tea and relax, even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom to do it. Yell if you need to. sometimes if i just go to my car and scream, ill come out laughing at myself. This is a journey, and by getting through it we all become stronger. This journey will impower you like motherhood does. If we can get through this, we can do anything. Blessings, Sue
whoops edited to say i lied I will be 44 this year in November..lol..Guess i only feel 42!

[Littlewing]

Thank you Sue! I was eyeballing my car the other day and thinking about retreating to it! Up until a year ago we were living on top of a secluded mountain and I could go vent loudly and not worry about neighbors! Now we are kind of living in town..with neighbors, but I think I will still try that! It is all about taking time for oneself, trying to process and somewhat accept (if understanding isn't easy) that this is what is happening right now!
Breathe thru it..your are right. I was doing yoga at the old house and then my back and rib went out..that was a year and a half ago.That ensued a lot of panic, which now I look back and know that hormones played a factor in it!The other factor was my mother's health took a bad turn and we ended up moving too. Lots of big life changes in a short amount of time. Just recently that rib surfaced it's ugly head a gain and the panic from last year came with it! I mentally worked hard on recognizing that it didn't belong in the now! Then the Motherwort helped so much! It's a slow process, but it is healing and I have a great chiropractor. I do do the yoga breathing though. It does help to calm. Soon I hope to get back to it. My boss teaches yoga, so I have an in and it's close to home.
I'm not sure of the Hawthorn. What exactly does it do?
That's interesting about living around our panic. It's true! I am setting up possible ways to keep it away. My friend told me to try something new everyday. So I tried to pick up knitting, again. I crochet usually. It's frustrating, yet it's new and making my brain work in a different way. Keeps my mind occupied. What you wrote Narayani made sense. I'm going to look at it different now. Try not to let it control me. Yet never leave home without the Motherwort!
Thank you so much for all your words of help!! I am so thankful that I found this forum!
Littlewing

[suebee]

And we are very glad to have you! Blessings, you are doing great!

[Lady Alinor]

Hawthorn: For ME, works alongside Motherwort in 'keeping' my heart in my chest when I'm feeling panic-y, It also helps maintain good circulation.
It's a heart strengthener because it increases blood flow to the heart, Slows rapid heart beat, Lowers diastolic pressure and quiets the pulse...especially after a long hard stressful day.
I LOVE Hawthorn!

[Littlewing]

Ahhh...it seems that the PMS doesn't' go away after my moon has come. I still feel edgy. The Motherwort is great still. I haven't' tried the Hawthorne yet , but have it ready to use anyways.

I am having the hardest time finding Oatstraw though. I have 3 different health foods stores here where I live and no one has any! One had Oatseed tincture , yet was unsure if it was the same thing. Does anyone out there know?

Some days seem harder than others to stay strong and positive. Whether it's life or the kids or even the man I love. Some days it's hard. And men...poor things just don't get it. There's days I just want to curl up in his arms and just Be...men( or mine) just find it so hard to accept that THAT is a solution! It then makes me realize this journey is really going to be all by myself. That makes me sad too. does it really last 10-20 yrs??? Oh, the things women have to go through...

I'm just coming out of being a stay-at-home mom of 10 yrs and trying to figure out who I am now and it seems like I've gotten blindsided by this CHANGE and figuring out "me" will be on the back burner again. Oh, I know that I'll not ever figure myself out completely, yet who I am now in comparison to who I was before I became a mom..who is that woman? I guess it's better to start the journey to CHANGE younger than older . Get it out of the way?

Do you all who have experienced the panicky feelings also find that sometime you have a harder time taking a deep breath? I find that happens to me and I take the Motherwort and it helps a lot. Is it just me though?
Can one take too much Motherwort?
Thank you all you beautiful women for taking the time to listen! <3
May you all have a peaceful day!
Littlewing