Well my dears, I'm here in the hospital, it's nearly 10:30 and I don't see me getting much sleep tonite. The fistula wound oozes and gushes endlessly and even if I doze off, I wake to my skin burning because the bandage is soaked. Not so much fun. Good thing I get to sleep ALL DAY tomorrow. But I wanted to go into this RESTED. Ah well.
Things have gone rather oddly today, I'm actually in a room on the cardiac wing because there's no room at the Inn up on the 7th (surgical floor) I'll go to surgery from here and then go to the 7th floor after the surgery tomorrow.
Poor Stella hasn't enjoyed the Magnesium citrate, nor has the Sewer Rat but it's important for everything to be THOROUGHLY cleaned out so these two men can do their work. It hasn't been TOTALLY hideous. I've already taken two rounds of abx (flagyl and neomycin) which made me a little nauseous at first, but I'm ok now (with an anti-nausea drug) I have to take one more round at midnight. I have an IV in the back of my right hand as the two tries on the outside of my left arm didn't work at all.
It's so odd right now to know how AWFUL I'm going to feel tomorrow, but at least the rat will be gone. Maybe the SPOT will biopsy benign and maybe all will go splendidly enough that they can get to Stella too.
Speaking of Stella, I finally did something I've been meaning to do for a long time. The Saga of Stella. I did it mostly for me, as it was vital for me to bring myself from a place of SUCH shame and horror to a place where I can Find the Funny in it all. Second reason I did it is because MOST of the folks I've been howling to have NO idea what I'm talking about with all this. Third reason is probably the most important, hoping that SOMEONE as freaked out about having a colostomy as I was will stumble upon it and laugh, for perhaps the first time since they received theirs. And of course the FOURTH reason is IN CASE I 'buy the farm' tomorrow, I didn't want to leave with all these great lines inside me.http://ladybarbarasgarden.wordpress.com ... -penguins/
It might be TMI for some of you but oh well.
On a way more serious note, I want to offer a resource for ANYone dealing with serious illness and certainly surgery. Belleruth Naparstek has done a whole series of CD's of guided imagery/affirmations and I've used her one for Healing Trauma/PTSD. Well! The one for "Successful Surgery" is totally amazing. It's a 2 CD set. One disk is imagery and then affirmations and I've listened to that over and over since I got it. The Second disk is all music, but it's a huge and BEAUTIFUL expansion of the music used in the first disk, so without words, it re-activates all the suggestions...I WILL have it playing through headphones DURING the surgery tomorrow. It's SO gorgeous that I'm truly LOOKING FORWARD to listening to it. And I seriously believe it will put my body into SUCH a state of calm and healing that this really COULD go far, far better than anyone anticipated.
That's my hope.
Tomorrow I'll have my daughter post my tracking number and instructions so you can follow me through the system if you want to.
All will be well again........love to you all, armloads of thanks for ALL of your good wishes, it really and truly helps.