We are all a stand in the rope of time woven by the hands of our
ancestors. There voices reach us through the Great Mystery connecting
us to each other and holds us all in the Web of Life. We are all
related and what effects so much as a grain of sand effects each one of
us here on this delicate pattern of life.
Walk soft upon the strands and be mindful of your bothers and sisters
who each hold a thread of this in their beings. When we create a hole
in the web we create weakness and there for we all are threatened by our
own actions. Love and Blessings Waynonaha
Laying still in my bed trying to sleep the pain of my stomach coming and
going. I look around the room at my brothers who are
already asleep. We all share one room in this small house where we came
to live a few months ago. My Father left the ranch in
Nevada to live here in this small town in California. We have never
really lived in a town before so we are all finding out about
the schools and other things to do here.
My sister is sleeping next to me, she is older than me by thirteen
years. I am told not to cry it will only make the pain worse but
to think of wonderful things that I would like to eat and then pretend
that I have all of them. We all learn in this family to never
complain about such things as being hungry or cold there is no money
for doctor's, even if we were sick.
My Mother makes
us medicine to drink and rubs to put on us when we are sick with colds
and flu, other than that we just sleep until we feel better.
We often go to bed hungry I have learned to wait out the pain that
pinches the middle of my stomach . I think of the
other children who have so much and do not realize we have so little.
We never tell others about this as it is a matter of pride.
Yesterday we found some bottles in the empty lot, my friend Kay Ellen
and I take them to the grocery store to return them for
three cents each. I went to the meat counter and standing on tip toes
looked at the meat. The butcher sliced off ten cents worth
of bologna it looked like so much meat to me, being so little. It was hard to not take a slice for myself alone but sniffed at the package wrapped in paper all the way back to the house. I feel so proud and
carefully take it home to my mother so we can have it for
dinner with potatoes and gravy. Some times if we look along the river
bank where we can find a lot more bottles. On those days we can buy some
My brothers hammer together home made boxes and shine shoes outside the bar on the corner. This
my mother is not happy about but the little change that they bring home
helps us all to survive.
In the summer we can gather wild mustard greens and look in the cans
behind the grocery store for vegetables. Even in the empty lots the
plants grow and we gather them for medicine.
We passed the dancing school where little girls stand in lines with their mothers. These girls are all my age, dressed in pink
tights and tap shoes, some carry ballet slippers. WE peek in from the side walk through the opening in the curtain.
We stand taking turns to watch them practice. Kay Ellen and I dance a little dance on the side walk
outside of the studio. Finally a women who works in the
dance school comes and tells us to go away then she closes the curtain.
Later we go through the trash can back of the building, one
day we find a pair of worn ballet slippers.
It is different living in a small town there are lots of things to do and
other kids to play with. Kay Ellen's mother works all day and
she is allowed to be alone so this is fun,. My mother is always home
we are never left alone. We play dress up and dolls,
mostly paper dolls, Kay Ellen has a father and a divorced mother who works. Her father sends presents for
her birthday and Christmas. I have never had a birthday
Christmas is never good at our house, we get one present mostly cloths and I get a small doll with hand made cloths. My mother does not decorate or
bother with all the fancy presents. My father is working for the
chemical company that makes fertilizer for the vegetable crops
in California. I can tell he is not happy when he comes home, some times
he is really late and does not speak to us. I know soon he will want
to return to the work in Nevada on the ranch.
My mother never says much she just takes his plate from the oven and
sets it down in front of him. They seem to communicate in a language
that needs no words. Mother never complains about the lack of food or the smallness of this house.
My Grandmother has been sick and she is coming to live with us for a
while so my Grandfather can work in the fruit orchards.
Grandmother tells us stories of when she was a little girl in Texas. I love my Grandmother and sit at her feet all day listening to her.
She tells us how they would ride horses all day there was
little school in that time. She did not have to go to school like we
do, her school years were short but gave her the needed
skills to survive in this world. Grandmother tells us of her work on
the farm where she, with eight other sisters helped her
mother and father.
I love it when Grandmother comes to stay, some times Grandfather give
her little peppermint candies which she keeps in her
apron pocket. The apron that she wares is always clean and starched
with deep pockets filled with surprises. She makes us
toys from buttons. she cuts out dolls for me, and games to play. I watch as her fingers fly in steady motion as
she tats my doll new cloths. Granmother is small and her feet are
little like mine, she is only a bit taller than me. When she walks
we cannot hear her make a sound. I see my father look at her sometimes with a
strange look in his eyes. He said one time she is of the hills not the plains so she walks with different spirits.
Late at night when all are asleep she comes in and sits by my bed.
Grandmother talks to us in her soft whisper, so no to disturbe others she tells us stories, and sings the old songs,
From her apron pocket she gives us candy until the pain goes away.
In the night I can still hear her whispering, soft like waves going in and out on the shore.
When I am sad or lonely, she comes and sits by my bed. Grandmother takes out her sewing
and I watch as she threads the needle and starts to make a flower with
the bright colorful yarn. She is telling me of a time long
ago when our people where strong and powerful no children went to bed
hungry . We are good hunters and gatherers, she
tells me of the medicine plants the dances, and the things she knew as a child long before. She spins the memory back into the
time of her people's land in the hills of Tennessee. She tells me of
the Cherokee, The People or the Human Beings, about the
way we once lived as powerful free people. Grandmother tells us of the
wonderful Clans of her nation, the Cherokee people, the Bird Clan is
clan. The Owl that comes in the night will talk to us of the old
ones in the spirit time. These are our ancestors, who still
watch over the world. When she speaks I can see the trees and hear the
birds, she sings the songs of our people in her
mother's language. The words are strange and yet wonderfully
familiar. I understand the words and know they are a strand
too the path home. Grandmother weaves the web of time with her whispers
in the night and I walk there in that space she has
woven to listen and learn. .
In the night I can still her her voice so soft and low, whispering to me,
be strong, she says to me," remember your a Human
We are sisters here to walk in peace and harmony. Each is a seperate link but none are without support or connecting sisters. Love and blessings Waynonaha Human Being. If you wish to chat with me you can find me or post a time on AOL my users name is Waynonaha also on Yahoo instant messanger at Waynonaha7. You can email me if you do not have these instant messangers or contact me on the Forum at Susun's We are all here for each other on this great web of life. Love Waynonaha