After my attunement, I thought that my physical body would be healed and that I would gain strength to heal myself and others. Instead Reiki sent my body on an emotional journey of confusion, anger, sadness, resolution, love, and knowing. My body rejected something about the attunement process, my ego was wanting to be heard and known so I experienced emotional flash backs and trauma related anxiety during the reiki attunement process. I felt inadequate and injured as a healer, I felt scared and alone. My experience was beautiful but left me confused about my own feminine intuitive abilities, was I broken because I didn’t feel or see?
After the class I went to the river bed by the red rocks and sat in between the sediment and trees, there in that space, my body accepted my own path to healing, listening to the trees breath, my body experienced sight and stillness, the visions of trauma subsided and the earth told me to let go, trust, and be okay with confusion. I wanted something, some power outside of myself to heal me, I wanted an answer to my emotional issues, I wanted to feel alive.
We as sisters, as lovers, as ancient wisdom keepers, know the path to wholeness, self love, worship and trust. The way you learn to dance is your own way, with or without knowing.
"Love is the water of life, drink it up with heart and soul." -Rumi