I'm a new member/ex-lurker. I've just registered because I've found myself with a bit of a problem and I have no help or support in RL- well, not the sort I'd like. I'm pretty much on my own actually.
I already have a two year old daughter, and my period is five days late. On saying that, it's roughly five days, because it is not entirely regular, but it's enough to say that I definitly would have expected it well before now. I've had no symptoms of either period or pregnancy, but I have one of those "feelings". My breasts do seem a little sore, but as my daughter is still breastfeeding, this could mean nothing. My last period began on September 23rd I should add, and ended five days later.
My partner and I have been very careful with birth control- I even cast my dislike of putting hormones into my body to the winds, and am on the mini pill, also we use condoms at all times, and I keep my eye on my cycle. This is not the time for a pregnancy at all, it really isn't. My last was a very difficult time and i just can;t cope with another one now, when I'm still healing from what happened last time. I can not, I will not, have another child right now.
I'm not sure what to do. I looked at the sister zeus site, and I bought some vitamin c today. I am going to start it tomorrow. I've already inserted some parsley into my vagina, I've drunk some parsley and ginger tea, and I'm trying to visualise and focus on my womb shedding its lining.
is there anything else i can do right now? I don't feel pregnant, but I feel like I am pregnant- however, I am a worrier, and I can convince myself that black is white if I worry about it enough, so I'm not sure how trustworthy my instincts are at the minute.
If this doesn't work I' not sure what the next step would be. I'm not sure how long to continue the vit c and parsley for? I'm still trying to think of this as simply bringing on a period, I don't want to test unless the vit c doesn't work.
I should mention that abortion is illegal in my country, so if this doesn't work I'm stuck. One thing I do know for sure: I am not having another baby. I have my daughter to think about. Without going into too much detail this would be catastrophic right now.
Funnily enough, I'm scared, but more than that, i am angry. I mean absolutely fuming, that there is no support for me- why can't I go and see a doctor about this? Why isn't a medical abortion even an option (though I'd still try the alternative first) If I am pregnant, then why,why,why is this happening to me, when my first pregancy was unplanned and difficult, when I'm only starting to pull things together? Why don't I have any power over my reproductive choices?
I was reading an article on the sister zeus website, and the author was telling of how a friend of hers would come round and massage her womb in order to induce miscarriage. it's this sort of support network that i simply do not have, and I need it. Everybody does.
Sorry for the rant, but it feels good to get it all out. I'm probably being completely paranoid and worrying about nothing- after all, I was so careful about birth control, and I ddin't skip a pill or split a condom or anything.
I hope someone can offer me a bit of perspective on this, i think I need itb