Sex not enjoyable

[bellamamma]

Basically I haven't enjoyed (internal)intercourse since my first child was born almost 3 years ago. At the beginning its normal I know because of hormones, stitches, exhaustion, dryness, etc. But I now have a second child who is four months old. And I just don't want anything to do with sex really. I do it sometimes because it is really hard for my dh and it takes a toll on our relationship. But even before this last pregnancy it was rarely enjoyable for me. And it is usually uncomfortable at best and painful not at best. Again I know some of this is normal since I am breastfeeding, and getting less sleep etc. But I don't want to continue like this. I have tried commerical lube as well as almond oil. Condoms are our current bc method, which makes it worse. We usually use natural family planning but since I don't have a period right now I don't temp. Any help would greatly be appreciated.

[nutmeg]

I don't think your issue is uncommon.

Have you thought of getting more support through books or a very skilled counselor to help work through it deeply with your partner? There's often something going on underneath, and if you keep up the honesty and dialogue, maybe it will emerge and help heal.

[Lady Alinor]

Being Peri menopausal I've noticed that the Mind/Attitude REALLY effects sexual desire. If one keeps saying "I don't like it" "I don't want it" "I feel no desire", then One MAKES those statements come true.
I have to consciously stop myself from thinking that way. My husband and I have been together 28 years and I DO still find him QUITE appealing so I need to keep correcting my thinking and enjoy him enjoying me.