Modern rituals

[Melissa Doordaughter]

So, continuing from another thread, I was asking the question if new, meaningful rituals can be found or created for our times....

I was particularly thinking about the major Christian traditions for rites of passage, like baptism, first communion, marriage and then of course the Last Rites.

Well I was raised in a New Age family that was also well steeped in catholicism and later studied world religions.

From both life experience and from all the intellectual hooha I've seen that there is a need for certain rituals, that help enrich our understanding, and draw strength or wisdom from the ancient ones, from the spirit and our ancestors.

But for me the Christian rites aren't adequate, mainly because they are founded on a belief system that I don't share.

Looking for an alternative, comes the idea of creating ones own rituals, or seeking to reconstruct rites from other religions or other times.

I was wondering how this works for other people. Because I've found that constructing my own rituals is valid to a certain point, but lacks an important element, which is recognition from my community. And as for reconstructing other peoples rites... well I'm not sure what happens to the authenticity of such events...

[Sashamarts]

I'm glad you made a thread about this, Melissa!
I've wondered the same thing... My husband and I were both baptised as babies (catholic) then we were baptised as adults (christian- baptist) but when my daughter was born I wanted to do something similar, but not through any church... I ended up not coming up with any good ideas though
I don't feel very connected to Christianity right now (tho hubby is getting back to it) but I don't feel very connected to any religion, yet I still see the benefit to these rituals and, i guess "rites of passage" (like first communion) but don't really know how to incorporate this into our lives in a way that is satisfying to both hubby & me... I'm up for any ideas or discussion!!

[Lady Alinor]

A few years back...maybe three...my brother and his girlfriend decided they wanted a handfasting (brother and I were raised LDS), well since I'm the oldest they asked me to do it but in order for the handfasting to be legal in their State I had to be ordained, so I went to the Universal Life Church website and got ordained Their handfasting included the rule that they had to return in One year for the vow completion, they couldn't make it so this past June we went to them and completed their vows...minus the broom as they forgot to make one so they jumped over a stick
Anyway I wrote up the vows and let me tell you it took a whole lot of research but it was worth it for my brother. I went with the Celtic belief in Sky, Sea and Land/Earth.
My brother is such a goof he told our stepmom that the vows were to be done in the nude, she told our sister and her Iranian boyfriend and the next we knew they couldn't attend until I told them he was just giving mom a hard time...up to the day of the vows stepmom was still asking if all were to be nude

I believe that WE are more than capable of making/creating our own 'rituals', be they wiccanings/blessings/baby baptism, teen rite of passage, marriage or death rites (I've been asked to do that for my brother when he passes, he has alpha one empysema) (I still need to perform the Death rites for our younger brother who passed away in 2004, he ashes are still here with me).

Halloween/Samhain is just 2 days away...I've been gathering photos and personal belongings of my departed family members, these will be placed next to Mike's urn with candles and incense burning, they will all be invited to celebrate with us.
Yule is always celebrated with a backyard fire and dinner cooking over it

We tend to celebrate Earth's Holy Days as they have more meaning for us..They seem to be more tangible to us.

[Melissa Doordaughter]

Interesting: but is the handfasting only valid for a year? Or is that the completion of the rite?

Before my first son was born we (my fella and I) made a little ritual out in nature, making an offering to the four directions... was just improvised. If I remember I think it was a dream that inspired it...

In Italy Halloween isn't really celebrated, but the 1st of November is quite important, traditionally before-hand all of the tombs are cleaned and then on the actual day everyone goes to the cemetery. Well dh doesn't feel the trip to the cemetery very authentic, we normally go on the 2nd to avoid the crowds! And all my family have had their ashes put into the sea. But perhaps it is a good idea to bring out some old photos this weekend, and make an offering into a nearby river for my fore-mothers and fathers...

[Sashamarts]

I can't speak for Lady Alinor's ritual, but from what I know of the tradition of handfasting it is a ritual that binds two people for a year, then after that year they can choose to marry, seperate or handfast another year. It was a commitment ceremony that wasn't "permanent" like marriage (ok, marriage isn't so permanent these days, but it was once!) I wonder what the 2nd ceremony Lady A did was like? Was it comparable to a marriage??

[Lady Alinor]

Okay here's how my brother wanted the handfasting...he wanted it legal otherwise his wife to be was going to hurt him So the day after they arrived in Oregon they went to our County seat and got their license to marry. The ceremony was in the style of a handfasting Big Sis style I even sewed a marriage shirt for my brother, he wife should have done it but she's not the domestic type
Our mother was the Crone, the Brides daughter was the Maiden and I played the Mother, we also got their son involved, he led the couple to the Hawthorn tree (tossing Lavender and birdseed all over the place)
After the ceremony the couple agreed to return the following year to 'renew' their vows in the style of the Handfasting, well that didn't happen because my brother had been laid off.
Fast forward to June 2010, and I'm planning a trip to Utah for my Dad's Memorial and my brother and his wife want to do their 'renewal', so I write up the renewal vows, there's no way I'm going to use the first ceremony as this renewal is so much more important...especially if you know my brother and his wife
We gathered the family members and went into the canyon above Salt Lake City...I found a real cool story written by Plato about how we were all at one time physically connected to our soul mates and somehow we became separated and have ever since been searching for our other part and my Brother and his lady had found their other half...cool huh?! They loved it!

Basically what I did was marry the two of them in a not so traditional way that they'll always remember...they'll also remember the Mormon family and the Muslim men that were in the picnic area with us We could have told the two groups that we didn't want to share the spot but my brother isn't the selfish type We had a good day in the mountains

Now for Yule I've got to figure out how to work the renewal vows into a gift for the couple.

[crystal woman]

In Italy Halloween isn't really celebrated, but the 1st of November is quite important, traditionally before-hand all of the tombs are cleaned and then on the actual day everyone goes to the cemetery. Well dh doesn't feel the trip to the cemetery very authentic, we normally go on the 2nd to avoid the crowds! And all my family have had their ashes put into the sea. But perhaps it is a good idea to bring out some old photos this weekend, and make an offering into a nearby river for my fore-mothers and fathers...

That sounds a bit like the festival for The Day of the Dead, a Spanish and Mexican celebration. Here is some information about that.

http://www.mexonline.com/daydead.htm

The Day of the Dead, Día de los Muertos, a festival celebrating the reunion of dead relatives with their families, November 1st and 2nd.

Every year, on November 1st (All Saints Day) and 2nd (All Souls Day), something unique takes place in many areas of Mexico: Day of the Dead festivities.

In Spanish, All Saints Day and All Souls Day are known as El Día de Todos los Santos and El Día de los Muertos, respectively. While it's strange for most of us to accept the fact that "death" and "festivities" can go hand-in-hand, for most Mexicans, the two are intricately entwined. This all stems from the ancient indigenous peoples of Mexico (Purepecha, Nahua, Totonac and Otomí) who believed that the souls of the dead return each year to visit with their living relatives - to eat, drink and be merry. Just like they did when they were living.

Tempered somewhat by the arrival of the Spaniards in the 15th century, current practice calls for the deceased children (little angels) to be remembered on the previous day (November 1st, All Saints Day) with toys and colorful balloons adorning their graves. And the next day, All Souls Day, adults who have died are honored with displays of the departed's favorite food and drinks, as well as ornamental and personal belongings. Flowers, particularly the zempasúchil (an Indian word for a special type of marigold) and candles, which are placed on the graves, are supposed to guide the spirits home to their loved ones.

Other symbols include the elaborately-decorated pan de muerto (a rich coffee cake decorated with meringues made to look like bones), skull-shaped candies and sweets, marizpan death figures and papier maché skeletons and skulls. (the Nahua speaking peoples of pre-columbian Mexico saw the skull as a symbol of life - not death.) Today, these macabre symbols and other similar items fill the shops and candy stalls by mid October. During this time, homes are often decorated in the same manner as the graves.

This may all seem morbid and somewhat ghoulish to those who are not part of that culture. But, for Mexicans who believe in the life/death/rebirth continuum, it's all very natural. this is not to say that they treat death lightly. They don't. It's just that they recognize it, mock it, even defy it. Death is part of life and, as such, it's representative of the Mexican spirit and tradition which says: "Don't take anything lying down - even death!"

First the graves and altars are prepared by the entire family, whose members bring the departed's favorite food and drink. Candles are lit, the ancient incense copal is burned, prayers and chants for the dead are intoned and then drinks and food are consumed in a party/picnic-like atmosphere. At 6:00 pm, the bells begin to ring (every 30 seconds), summoning the dead. They ring throughout the night. At sunrise, the ringing stops and those relatives who have kept the night-long vigil, go home.

The most vivid and moving Day of the Dead celebrations take place on ths island of Janitzio in Lago de Pátzcuaro. Here, at the crack of dawn (on November 1st) the Purepechan Indians get the festivities going with a ceremonial duck hunt. At midnight, the cooked duck and other zesty edibles are brought to the cemetery in the flickering light of thousands of candles. Those visitors who come are in for an awesome spectacle as the women pray and the men chant throughout the chilly night. Other candle-lit ceremonies take place in the nearby towns of Tzintzuntzan (the ancient capital of the Purepechan people), Jaráuaro and Erongarícuaro. If you're thinking of witnessing this annual spectacle next year, it's best to make reservations right now since available hotels do fill up quickly.

Editor's Note - Most of the nation celebrates El Día de los Muertos, but here's a list of Mexican cities & villages which are well-known for their observance of the celebrations; Oaxaca, Patzcuaro (Michaocan), Huejutla (State of Hidalgo), Chiapa de Corzo (Chiapas), Jesús María (Nayarit), Míxquic (Federal District) and even Tecate (Baja California).

• Story compiled and written by Marvin H. Perton

.

[crystal woman]

.....Looking for an alternative, comes the idea of creating ones own rituals, or seeking to reconstruct rites from other religions or other times.

I was wondering how this works for other people. Because I've found that constructing my own rituals is valid to a certain point, but lacks an important element, which is recognition from my community. And as for reconstructing other peoples rites... well I'm not sure what happens to the authenticity of such events...

That is what I have done, created my own rituals for my own type of spirituality. Depending on the situation I've sometimes borrowed certain rites or practices that I relate to from other people or cultures to include with the rituals I've created for myself - for example, the many ways I use sage as a ritual cleansing and/or spirit appeasing herb; the use of sage is borrowed from Native American spirituality rituals and I might combine that with Feng Shui (Chinese) and Tarot magic (Egyptian) along with my ritual use of crystals which is uniquely mine, together with me reciting The Lord's Prayer (Christian) as a mantra (Indian/Tibetan) though I am not a Christian or a follower of any of those other religions. There are other things too, but these are things that are important to me, that I feel closely in tune with on a personal spiritual level and to me they are authentic because I use them in rites that are reconstructed for myself only. Since I'm private about most of my rituals I don't generally concern myself with recognition of them from my community. In regard to rites recognized by communities and where there is community participation - rituals like prayer circles, meditation circles, drumming circles or healing circles are rites that are practised globally in many different ways culturally but they are all recognized by most communities as being meaningful rituals.

.