LadyB's dance with cancer

[Jadeswan]

What great news! Sending good thoughts for continued healing.

[MizB]

Praise God (or George and Gracie, in your case). I continue to hold you in prayer. May your recovery be total and swift and EASY!!!! Shalom, MizB

[anita]

Congratulations! All sounds good. May the healing continue! love love love!

[crystal woman]

Yahoo! A big thumbs up and continued prayers for a very rapid recovery.

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[Narayani]

'B you are an incredible being. Sending you lots of pain free rest and healing.

[LadyB]

To all the dears here.....I'm SO sorry I've waited so long to come back and continue the GREAT news (once I read through all the beautiful posts with raindrops in my eyes)

So YES.....better than ANYone expected. EXACTLY the words so many of the folks who reviewed the "successful surgery" CD's posted.

One of the reasons I've held off responding HERE is to pull my swirling thoughts together. (not an easy feat, I ASSURE YOU!)

There was a pivotal POINT somewhere in here when The Herbalist and the GENIUS that CAN be Western Medicine met toe-to-toe and ALLIED. That's the MOST important thing I want to say. Finding the genius that CAN be Western medicine was obviously tough, but by all manner of leadings and neudgings, the silver-haired man (and his young liver-specialist co pilot) embodied the BEST of what WM has to offer.....experience, skill, intuition, and HEART. And I'm not just pulling pretty words together, I saw/felt ALL of that.

Considering the surgery took two top surgeons SIX HOURS to complete, I feel FAR better already than I have for most of the last YEAR and some. I feel whole again. The damage has been repaired. Considering Dr DeHaas REMOVED a section of my abdominal wall in order to de-adhesion my small intestines and then put it back, I feel FAR less FRAGILE than I did after ANY of the other surgeries. The incision is as long as you can make on a creature my size, but amazing. Once I get after it with Comfrey and Calendula oils, it's going to vanish. I was at risk of yet another infection because there were actually FOUR fistulas all draining out of the Sewer Rat and yet when Dr D viewed my beautifully healing, not a trace of red, clean incision on discharge day (1/16) he pronounced that it was "just spectacular". I smiled, HE smiled, Gail (who just happened to come visit) smiled. It was great. We done GOOD.

And you want the truly ASTONISHING thing? When I pressed him about wasn't he going to give me a whole list of do's and don't's, he said (I hope you're all sittin' down for THIS one!) that NOBODY knows more about healing ME than ME. I asked how much pain I should honor and how much should I challenge and he smiled again and said "You'll know."

Like I said, the Herbalist and the Surgeon became ALLIES. And THAT, boyz 'n girlz, is how it SHOULD be. THAT is where the miracles happen. Add to that the 'crowd' in the OR, the incredible number of folks focused on all of us in that OR and we were GOLDEN. My daughter was holding down the fort in the waiting room and I couldn't ASK for a better 'anchor'. She slept in my room the night before, was barely awakened when they came in to swoop me away at 10 past 6 the next morning. The last thing I remember was being asked to sit on the side of the bed for the epidural. Then I opened my eyes in recovery. ...... cont'd in next post....

[LadyB]

So somewhere in my hospital recovery, I asked Dr D to EXPLAIN to me exactly what he did. He lit up and went into TEACHER mode. Yes, the adhesions were TOUGH. Had everything knitted together, but he took on the dangerous tedium of ever so carefully REMOVING them. He repaired the FOUR fistulas on my small intestine (I THINK they were all on the SMALL bowel) Dr Cusati, our liverwizard, carefully removed 20% of my liver with the one, 1" marble sized TUMOR in it, nice and clean. When they take a section of your liver, they TIE OFF all the blood and bile vessels and cauterize the surface. If what I'm reading is correct, it should all regenerate in a mere EIGHT WEEKS. That's AMAZING.

It was Stella who as in the most trouble. Both surgeons think there never WAS a hernia. (what????? I wore that blasted hernia belt for TEN MONTHS for what????) What was bulging around her was this KNOT of adhesions, inflammation and a chronic infection. No WONDER I felt so horrible most of this past year. EVERYthing was removed, I was doused with abx, and I'm all reconnected.

During one of his check-in's, one week after the surgery, I was starting to say something like "I can't wait to......" when Dr D kind of cocked his head and noted: "You realize you're a WHOLE NEW PERSON. It's OVER. The fistulas are GONE, the cancer is GONE, and Stella is GONE. It's OVER." That scene STILL tears me up. It's TRUE. I FEEL like a whole new person. It was not possible for me to get well this entire past year. Now I can. That's SO huge, it doesn't fit on the keyboard.

The tumor in my liver had totally CLEAN edges. They didn't biopsy it first and actually I'm glad. You cut into a malignant tumor to find out IF it's malignant and you risk SPREADING the cancer. Oddly enough, modified citrus pectin taken 3 days before and 3 days after cancer surgery can surround escaped cancer cells and keep them from 'taking root' elsewhere. I only took it a couple of days before and couldn't THINK of getting it down afterwards, but once I heard they didn't do the biopsy, I was good. They did an ultrasound of my liver and there's NOTHING there to be concerned about. As Dr D pronounced, 'now we let nature take its course'. No chemo, no radiation. I'll work with my ND oncologist to make sure this NEVER happens again.

Sure, the HARD part of this is getting the pipes working again and figuring out how to eat. (on HOSPITAL FOOD, that was a trip). What FIRST comes through is utterly BLACK liquid and there's NO getting to the bathroom in time, especially if you have to unplug and drag an IV pole with you. Three times that night they had to clean the floor. Then it goes green and burns like all hell. Good thing I had my Beaudroux's Butt Paste with me from trying to protect the Sewer Rat skin.

Both surgeons strongly suggested I take Immodium to control the diarrhea until I can catch up with myself. I protested UNTIL I UNDERSTOOD the mechanics of all this and saw MY herbal allies not TOUCHING it. Fact is, an intestinal system that has NOT been functioning anything like normally for OVER A YEAR is going to have a tough time figuring out how to DO the unbelievable things intestines DO. To ally with the Immodium (which slows the peristalsis) AT THIS TIME was actually the RIGHT thing to do. I felt queasy most of that day until the Hallelujah Chorus started in on Sunday morning and I wanted to go running up and down the halls announcing "I POOPED! I POOPED!!!!!". BELIEVE me, I shall NEVER take that little function for granted EVER AGAIN.

Today I'm TWO weeks past the surgery, still eating very carefully and only small amounts at a time. I'm plagued with pretty fierce gas pains in the mornings after breakfast. I'm doing a lot of Slippery Elm with raw honey. Using yogurt smoothies to sneak in protein powders and probiotics and blackberry juice. I'm kind of sleeping regularly from 9:30pm straight through to 6:30am AND napping during the day. I've had one appt that kept me on my feet too long and THEN pushed through to get some groceries with my HomeCareHelper and was definitely in that state of "You'll know" when I got home and went straight to bed. I see Dr D for a follow up next Tuesday, and I'll see my ND as soon as she goes through ALL the records from the hospital. We'll work on getting some weight back on me and super nourishment for healing really well.

Although, yes, I feel like I've gotten my 'life back', I don't have much sense of wanting to GO BACK to much. I'm excited as can be to GO ONNNNNNN.

By chance on Facebook last weekend, I came upon a YouTube vid that just stopped me in my tracks. I watched it over and over. It LOOKS how all this FELT. And while for the first few minutes my MommieChops were zinging for the surfers, before long I was literally 'swept up' with what I was seeing, watching their surrender to the wave's MAGNIFICENCE, and realizing that I feel like I just popped up on the other side. I MADE it, and I wll NEVER be the same.
http://video.mpora.com/watch/5Pgs2slxu/

It's going to take me MONTHS to untangle all the gifts in this astonishing journey. I get swamped with Gratitude Attacks just all the time. I'm finding the Healing Process to be absolutely fascinating because now it's finally POSSIBLE to heal. I listen very carefully to what my body's ready to eat and when it gets weary and when it's ready to get up and MOVE. I want to do this WELL.

Such armloads of blessings and heartwaves and gratitude to EVERYone who contributed to helping the Way to Open for this story to have a Happy Beginning.
love to ALL of you,
LadyB

[coyotemist]

Oh, LadyB, that was a lovely story to read! So so so happy for you, and sending you continued good thoughts as you heal back together.

That day you had surgery, I was working, so I didn't get to check the "board" on the hospitals website until midnight or so. Even when it said you were going to ICU, nothing in my gut said there was a problem. Such a relief, so glad you have an anchor in your daughter. Love and light to you.

[Leaf]

LadyB, this is wonderful to read!

[LadyB]

And one thing we know is that healing is NO STRAIGHT LINE. I have more abdominal pain NOW 15 days past the surgery than I did earlier. Gas pains, back pains and just cranky intestine pains. Much of that can definitely be from having my intestines HANDLED. They don't LIKE that. I've been strongly advised NOT to let the pains keep me from walking around and to take an Advil or two (not Tylenol, not when you're growing a new liver!) so I can keep moving. My best pain relievers are all tinctures which I choose not to do while I'm still missing 20% of my liver. Advil is processed more through the kidneys than the liver, and my body has always handled it well. I'll add a nice warm shower to all this and should be feeling better.

I still need a LOT of sleep. I take 1 or 2 naps during the day and still sleep 9-10 hours at night. My body NEEEEDS that.
Recovering is WORK!
(but GOOD work)
LadyB

[RoseRed]

You are truly an inspiration.

[MizB]

Dear LadyB,
So, so happy to hear the gory details and know that you are well on your way to wholeness. I so look forward to the day you write of letting your body express its joy in a good belly dance! And what a blessing to have a doctor ally with you! Do continue to listen to your body and get all the sleep she needs...so much healing happens in sleep when the body doesn't have to deal with all the demands of the awake body. Know that prayer continues to rise from way down here in Florida.
MizB

[crystal woman]

All I can say is I'm so happy for you, I have tears of joy streaming down my face right now. The best tears I've shed in a long time. Still sending good thoughts and healing vibes your way.

Oh, and Gung Hei Fat Choy !!! Happy New Year, great fortune and blessings going into the lucky new year ahead, the lucky year of the Water Dragon! (starting January 23rd).



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[anita]

Congratulations, LadyB! Feeling the joy and magick, and so so so so glad that you experienced the miracle of that pivotal ally point. Good luck with the recovery.

[LadyB]

I had my 20,000 mile checkup with Dr DeHaas on Tuesday and he's STILL smiling. First he looked at my FACE and said I looked so much healthier already. Then I lilfted my sweater and he just kept SMILING. He popped off all the remaining Steri-Strips and dontchya know.....ONE LAST STAPLE!!!!! He went out to get the magic staple remover and brought one of his nurses in to SEE this WonderIncision. (and I hadn't even STARTED with the Comfrey/Calendula/St J's oils yet!) I asked if I can now take a BAHHHHHHTH. He laughed and said "You can do anything you WANT!".

He was FLOORED that a mere 18 days past a surgery this huge, on intestines that have not been able to function normally in over a year, that basically the pipes be workin' JUST fine. Only this morning am I realizing JUST how much I needed that affirmation. For this past year, my HERBAL allies simply have not been able to make me any BETTER. Because technically, I wasn't 'sick'. I was BROKEN. And I had to STAY 'broken' for months on end while we WAITED for a safe time to GO BACK IN without causing even MORE trouble. And it wasn't just passively ~waiting~, I was genuinely MISERABLE. But NOW, I'm seeing slippery elm and honey REALLY paying off. I'm seeing a varied collection of probiotics getting the re-population of goodguys GOING. I've had the opportunity to sleep just as much as I NEED to (9-10 hours every night and often napping during the day). I have help with housework and groceries and laundry by way of a Home Care Worker twice a week which is SUCH a blessing. And my APPETITE came blasting back just a few days ago. FOOOOOD, GLORIOUS FOOOOOOD!!!!! No problem, as I've slipped down to 118.8lbs, so some plumping can stand to happen here.

But I took that BAHHHHHHTH last night. Oh WOW. I used Palmarosa/RubyGrapefruit scented bath salts sent to me by an herbalist friend. This was a SACRAMENT. This was a BAPTISM. I scrubbed away the dead skin, the needle-bruises, the helplessness and came out all NEW again. Snakeskin-shedding NEW. I've stared down at my belly so much this year, at raw gaping holes that wouldn't heal. And now it's like a VINE all the way down. Kinda cool, actually. I check in with Dr DeHaas again at the very end of February. By then there may be NOTHING to see!!!
Smiling, grateful LadyB